I was really hoping to start off my post with some sort of good news: good news that I finally have my preclearance and I am packing my bags on my way to meet the Wexford community, good news that I have been asked to be in a relationship with the guy that I have liked and been friends with for the past year and a half, good news that my mom is finally gaining control of her colon health after her surgery, good news that my younger sister was accepted into graduate school or received a scholarship, good news that my dad got the new job that he was applying for, just some sort of good news. Unfortunately, even with the end to a second novena and the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, I don’t have any good news to share at the moment. I feel like instead, I am in the same place physically, mentally, and spiritually that I as with my last blog post, and now I am at a loss for something new to share.

I thought about offering something insightful about advent, about how it is comparable to lent as a period of waiting, but there is a joyful hope that is present in advent that isn’t necessarily in lent. I ended up deciding against it though because it is so hard to have both hope and joy at the same time when it takes all of your strength to renew your hope each night, only to be disappointed by no movement towards anything the next morning. I thought about comparing my waiting period to a pregnancy, something where you go through months of unknowns to receive the joy of a child, and them maybe connecting that to Mary’s pregnancy. But even Mary had the company of her cousin Elizabeth in her pregnancy (and her compassion as she was also pregnant), while I feel very much alone in my waiting. I don’t mean to sound so gloomy, but I also want to be honest and offer my whole heart to you all and to this program, which is going to include all of the dark places.

I really wish that I could share some incredible wisdom or profound meditation on something, but I find myself being the one who is seeking answers. What if we did this instead? I know that since you, the reader, are also a deeply beloved son or daughter of God made in His image and likeness, then you have wisdom to offer of your own. I will throw some questions your way, and you can feel free to ponder them in prayer or even message me or the House of Brigid page on Facebook with your testimonies and insights. Ok, here we go!

What signs, revelations, or moments do you remember in your mind when you need to draw on strength in a period of darkness? Why do you think that the Lord is sometimes quiet and still? How has the Lord reminded you of your beauty and value? Do you have a scripture passage that you like to reread, and if so, why do you like it so much? What saint (or saints) do you feel you have a special relationship with? What virtue or virtues do you have a greater focus on right now, and what virtue or virtues have been central to your whole life? What is a little miracle that happened to you today (like finding the last package of cookie dough at the grocery store, laughing with a coworker that you usually don’t talk to, or having just enough time to finish your task before you need to leave the house)?

Please keep me in your prayers this weekend, and I will be praying for all of you as well.